19
Sep

Laced with Satire - “Little” League

After having watched the Disney Channel Games yesterday and reading Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs for last night’s bedtime story, Jordan and I fell into the following conversation while walking her to school.

Sharon: You know what would be cool?

Jordan: If I didn’t have to go to school?

Sharon: (Ponders this for a moment)Do you know what ELSE would be cool?

Jordan: What?

Sharon: If the Umpa Lumpa and the Munchkins had a showdown in obstacle courses just like the Disney Channel Games.

Jordan: Oh my god, that’ll be really cool! (Mimics commentator’s voice) In the red corner, from the Chocolate Factory, the UMPA LUMPA!

Sharon:(Mimics commentator’s voice as well) And in the blue corner, from The Yellow Brick Road, the MUNCHKINS! (Then really fast) Not to be confused with that from Dunkin’ Donuts. (Cups hands around mouth to mimic crowd cheer)

Jordan: Hey what about the Seven Dwarfs?

Sharon: Oh right. (With comentator’s voice) And in the corner with birds and quirrels and pies and a sleeping girl in a glass coffin, introducing the many-feelinged SEVEN DWARFS!

Jordan: (Laughs out loud) Many feelinged! That’s a good one! And imagine in the bleachers what kinds of fans there are. For the Munchkins, everyone would be wearing green glasses, and there’d be the Wicked Witch of the East and….

Sharon: You mean West.

Jordan: Really? I thought it was East.

Sharon: No, I’m pretty sure it’s West.

Jordan: Right. And…

Sharon: And and, they’d have Toto as their mascot.

Jordan: Riiight… I’m sure the Munchkins look enough like a mascot to BE their own mascot.

Sharon: And in the Umpa Lumpa corner, you’d have fans eating complimentary chocolate, and that fat horrid boy, and the bubblegum-eating chick, and…

Jordan: Sharon, why are short people called dwarfs?

Sharon: They’re not dwarfs, they’re midgets.  Technically, dwarfs are nonexistent.  They’re fairy tale characters.

Jordan: They are not!

Sharon: Fine, you got me. I was lying. I don’t really know. But I do know the politically correct term is “little people.”

Jordan: That sounds even more insulting to me.

Sharon: That’s because you’re not a little person.

Jordan: I’m a child, I could pass for a little person.

Sharon: Too many questions! Lets just call them “vertically challenged.”

Jordan: And you know who can be the host of the midget games? BORAT! (Laughs obnoxiously)

Sharon: Oh my god you are right! We should so pitch this to the networks! But “midget games” is too… plain.

Jordan: How about Fairy Fights?

Sharon: Mm, too Tinkerbell.  I know! Let’s call it “Little” League…

Jordan:(Lost, being that Little League is an American term not familiar to her British brain) What are you on about?

Sharon: (Sighs) Nevermind.  We’re here! Bye!

21
Jun

Where the Hell is Matt?

Many people facinate me.  But very few people blow me away. And even fewer individuals impress me beyond words. 

One such person is Matt Harding.

Matt Harding is a YouTube celebrity, or e-lebrity, who has practically dedicated his life to travelling, and in doing so, brought something very beautiful to the crazy and sometimes-nice-sometimes-ugly world of YouTube, and to the world in general.  What makes him so amazingly special is this simple but genious thing that he does:

he dances.

But he doesn’t just dance.  He dances in different locations around the world.  He dances in every place he visits.  He dances in front of backdrops that come from some of the most beautiful places on earth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

What Matt does is have someone hold the camcorder to record a beatiful background scene, like a famous geiser, or fountain, or the Sahara, or Teotihuacan, or the side of a snowy moiuntain, or even a demilitarized zone.  Then he would walk right into the middle of the frame about 15 or more feet away from the camera and dance.  And he has a very distinguished dance, too; he swings his arms from side to side like the top half of the Texas jig, and simultaneously jogs on the spot.  In some cases, a relatively large crowd, usually the locals of the place he visits, would suddenly crash into the recorded frame while he is halfway dancing, and dance as well.  Some would imitate his dance and others would bust their own moves.  It is all very funny but at the same time, very inspiring.

The few minutes of each of his videos give us the opportunity to escape to other parts of the world that we either only heard of, or didn’t even know existed. From there we see the different types of cultures and peoples that God created.  From there we see how all of us are really just the same.

When we dance together, we are all just that: a bunch of people dancing together to the same music.  There is no separation of skin color, race, culture, political views, or religion.

There is simply just song and dance.

17
Jun

Colour of Wine (an original)

The fall of an angel

Could be heard for miles around

Dreams are all swallowed by shadows of night

To try to be all that you try to want me to be

Maybe we should’ve thought better than that

All of the presents and all of the gifts

Are turned into ashes that fly through the night

All of the present and all through the past

Our sky turns the colour of wine

Our sky turns the colour of wine

Maybe a part of me waits for your answer

And maybe a part of you questions me why

Forever it comes but you make it impossible

Too much entangled in all of our lies

There’s hope for us yet but there’s no hope for it

But maybe we’ll just wait and see

23
Mar

Thoughts for the Day - “This is Love”… But what is “this”?

Okay, 3 words: This is Love.  No, I am not in love.  Unless you know a 6 foot 2 who’s everything I want, then that is definitely NOT what I am talking about.

I am referring to only the most awesome event ever! It was the Nike This is Love Event that went down in APAC on Saturday (yesterday).  Here were some of the things I took away from the event:

1. I have NEVER seen so many women in a given location before in my entire life.  The level of estrogen in the atmosphere was so high I think that at one point a man passing by lost his beard.  Har har.

2. Anyone who has ever organized an event can appreciate the hard work and efficiency invested into making this Nike event a success.

3. The program lineup and program flow were impressively smooth.

4. The emcees were state-of-the-art: gorgeous and spontaneously entertaining.

5. Che’Nelle is a hottie with a body.

6. I got a Nike bracelet as a souvenir to remember the event by.

7. I got a horribly bruised knuckle from a puncing bag episode as a souvenir to remember the event by.

8. The workout session in the program made me want to sign up with Fitness First.

9. I never found out WHAT Love was.  "This is Love"? What is?

The last point stayed on with me for the longest time: "This is Love."  I kept asking myself what "this" is.  "This" wasn’t anything that I could find at yesterday’s event.

A souvenir bracelet isn’t Love.

A punching bag isn’t Love.

Learning martial arts aerobics isn’t Love.

Pole dancing isn’t Love. 

Hip hop dance routines isn’t Love.

Wall-climbing isn’t Love.

Then it suddenly hit me (while I was in the shower, of all places):

Love isn’t anything that I was doing on Saturday. 

Instead, Love is what we were celebrating today in church.  Love is what Jesus did for us more than 2 thousand years ago on the cross and what we are remembering today.  Love is dying in our place so we wouldn’t have to. 

THIS IS LOVE.

23
Feb

Laced with Satire - The 10% Myth

”The brain is a world consisting of a number of unexplored continents and great stretches of unknown territory.”

                                                                                -Santiago Ramon y Cajal-                                                                                                                    

It has been said that brains are more often than not more important than both brawn and beauty put together.  Yet, how much we know about brawn and beauty probably equals how much we DON’T know about brains.  The average college student would probably know more about how to get a six pack and great biceps (brawn) or how to cleverly apply green eye shadow (beauty) than what the causes of a cerebral hematoma are, or how the medulla oblongata functions (brain).

So do we really only use 10% of our brains, or is this an urban legend?  I mean, advertisements and commercials have attested to this.  Even the great physicist Albert Einstein himself had indirectly endorsed this idea in one of his quotes.

Here is the truth: that we use only 10% of our brains is FALSE.

We actually use ALL of our brains.  This idea of using only 10% of our brains is known as the 10% Myth.  The reason this myth is so strongly believed and widespread is because it has been fortified by the media over the years.  Moreover, experiments have been done on rats that have supported the 10% Myth, but the experiments were not extensive enough to conclude beyond all reasonable doubt that this theory cannot be disputed.  And because we do not really know much about the brain definitively like we know other things (for example, that 70% of the Earth comprises water), it is easier to believe something you read or hear on the radio, TV, or the internet.  Thus, a misconception easily becomes accepted general knowledge.

At the risk of being tongue-in-cheek, however, here are some questions we should ask if we were to consider, just for a fraction of a second, the possibility that the 10% Myth were true.  If we really do use only 10% of our brains:

  • Are we actually carrying around an extra 90% of useless weight? 
  • Can we have the other 90% surgically removed so we can walk around feeling lighter?
  • If we find a way to tap into the other 90%, will we be able to bend the space/time continuum, read other people’s thoughts, walk through walls, regenerate, muscle mimic, fly, and steal other peoples “powers” like the cast of Heroes?
  • What is the percentage breakdown of this 10% between the right and left sides of the brain?  Is it an even split of 5% on each side?  Or do I get more on my right side because I am a leftie?
  • Why bother trying to research on and understand the brain? How can we expect only 10% of our brain to understand all 100% of our brain?
  • How did they come up with a 10% figure in the first place?  Why not 12% or 15%?  Or maybe even less than 10%?
  • Are you telling me we are only 10% smarter than the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz?!

I suppose part of the reason why society is so readily accepting of the 10% Myth is basically so that the other 90% of “untapped genius” could account for all the purported strange and “powerful” things some people claim to be able to do but cannot explain, like read minds, foresee the future, and come in contact with alien life forms.

One thing remains clear, however; no matter how many percent of our brains we use, we were still made to be the most complex and brilliant species on the planet. 

23
Feb

6 Degrees of Separation

I am actually related to Tyra Banks.  Got your attention?  Good. 

Being Chinese as well as inherently clumsy, it is virtually impossible for me to be related to the beautiful and graceful African American supermodel, Tyra Banks.  It is like comparing the statue of the Venus de Milo to a coat rack!  But if the proverbial six degrees of separation is to be believed, then we are related, and technically, I can invite her to my graduation ceremony.

Six degrees of separation is basically the idea that anyone on this planet is connected to another person by a chain of six links or fewer.  Confused?  Perhaps this will help:  when you click on a friend’s profile on Friendster, the right panel of the webpage will show you how you are connected to your friend.  If say, you knew this person through another friend, then you are considered to be two degrees away from this person.   Still confused?  Then this purely hypothetical scenario will help you: I am linked to Tyra Banks because I have a classmate who has a cousin that works for a local radio station who has interviewed Seal who happens to be married to Heidi Klum who is a good friend of Tyra Banks back when they were Victoria Secret models!  Of course this is all wishful thinking, but a girl can dream, can’t she?  Anyway, this shows that I am separated from Tyra Banks by 6 degrees.

Six Degrees of Separation was first put on paper in 1929 by a Hungarian writer called Frigyes Karinthy in his short story “Chains.”  Since then there were multiple attempts to validate the theory, but it is still considered an “academic urban myth” to this day.  And I can absolutely see why.  I asked a few people what they thought of the theory, and all but one thought it was practically impossible for everyone in the world to know each other.  With places like rural Nepal, or even Timbuktu, or Papeete (Don’t know it? Exactly! ), there is no way everybody is linked to everybody else on the planet.  They are more inclined to believe that six degrees of separation applies only to the modern world, or parts of the world exposed to the media.

Perhaps six degrees of separation is becoming increasingly plausible because the world, in reality, is pretty small.  And with the existence of the internet and social networking websites like Facebook and Friendster, the world is becoming increasingly smaller.  Well, not smaller per se, but more connected.

Six degrees of separation is an interesting theory, but it also suggests a few connotations:  If all of us on Earth are connected to each other, then why are we so cold and cruel to one another as if we were total strangers?  Why do we look down on the less fortunate, and go to war?  Also, this theory was first introduced in the 20th century, and it was found that the average degree of separation was six.  If this theory were to be discovered at an earlier time when the world was not so connected, like maybe the time of the Roman Empire in the 1st century, this theory would probably have been known as 17 degrees of separation!  In the same way, fifty years from now or maybe even sooner, the degree would become smaller, like three degrees of separation.

03
Feb

Thoughts for the Day - Emptiness

What is emptiness?

Emptiness is what is left after you’ve poured everything from the jug.

Emptiness is the other part of the half-full glass.

Emptiness is speaking into a room and having your voice reciprocated by your echo.

Emptiness is going every Sunday to meet God but never meeting Him.

Emptiness is the space between objects laid on a table.

Emptiness is the space between my ears.

Emptiness is the result of an unfulfilling meal.

Emptiness is Edgar Allen Poe.

Emptiness is a life without family.

Emptiness is a life without God.

Emptiness is a life with gods.

Emptiness is a life that has delved gradually into meaningless routine.

Emptiness is reaching out but having nothing to hold on to.

Emptiness is an abyss.

30
Jan

The Nike + iPod Dream

Besides the criteria I want in a man, the first thing that everyone knows about me is that I am a dire supporter of all things Nike.  Niketeambackpack

I have been wearing Nikes and/or Jordans ever since high school, and I have never owned a non-Nike bookbag.  Well okay, I have, but my sling bag does not really count; it was a transition bookbag - a transition between one Nike bag and another.

My first pair of Nike sneakers was the Nike Air Force One, all pimped out in black with grey soles, and velcro buckles that kicked all other velcro buckles back to kindergarten.Nike_air_force_one_mid_whitearton1357524 It was the black version of this white pair of kicks.

The Air Force Ones were both modern and retro.  When you are wearing a pair of Air Force Ones, any dance step you do seems cool and graceful.  I personally think it has something to do with the way the soles meet the ground.  It’s poetry for the sole, pun intended.  And when you wear them with a pair of shorts on a summer’s day, mm mmm, they make your legs go on forever like you’re Adrianna Lima.  Air Force Ones and Jordans are so popular they have become the reason for murder.  Yes, murder over a pair of sneakers.  But that’s another story for another day.

Now, the second thing that everyone also knows about is my late obsession with the iPod.Mainimagec

The iPod does not put technical capabilities at the top of its competency list.  Instead, what is so special and unique about it is its user interface.  There is, or was, no other portable media player as simple and fun to use as the iPod.  Even Apple itself said so.  The iPod is the only portable media player of its kind that has created an ‘ecosystem’ out of the market.  By ecosystem, I mean, there are A LOT of things out there that are built to be compatible with the iPod; the BMW and the Volkswagen, among other cars, have built-in iPod controls in the steering wheel.  United Airlines and Continental Airlines are 2 of 4 airlines that have iPod seat connections. 

And now, for the ultimate, most beautiful collaboration in the world:

NIKE AND APPLE

Nikeappleipodlogo

Nike and Apple have come together to create the Nike Plus iPod package, which is essentially a pedometer that is placed inside the sole of a pair of Nike+ shoes that transmits data to the iPod via Bluetooth technology so that while you are running/training, you can keep track of the number of steps you’ve taken, miles you’ve covered, and time you’ve spent.

Nike_poster I am sorry, but not even Mariah and Whitney’s collabo for the Prince of Egypt trumps this.  This is ingenuity in every sense of the word.  This

Nikeplussetmensmoires is technology in its completion.

Finally, the 3rd thing that alot of people know about me is my recent interest/obsession with running.  Yes, I have finally taken up the sport that I once condemned to eternal loathing because I used to think that no one should ever run around without a destination in mind and call it an athletic deed.  But I have changed, and I now love to run.  I run every chance I get.  It has even come to the point where I have traded in my Jordan basketball shoes for my brother’s regular Nike cross training sneakers.  Egads!

It must be stressed upon that this obsession with running came about long before I found out about Nike Plus iPod, and I think my internship colleagues can attest to that.

And so my point is this:

I, SHARON TAN, WAS MADE TO HAVE THE NIKE + iPOD PACKAGE: SHOES, BLUETOOTH GADGET, IPOD, ARMBAND, WATCH, AND ALL.

There isn’t a more perfect person to whom this amazing product of the 21st century should be given to.  My insatiable yearning for the iPod has crossed over to a much wider, much more expensive obsession: the Nike+iPod package.

And at 21, this is as good as materialism gets.

26
Jan

Currently Reading - Who Moved My Cheese?

Who Moved My Cheese?, in all its simplicity, tells of 4 characters (representing the 4 different kinds of approach to change) who go through the Maze (the situations we place ourselves in, i.e our environment) everyday looking for Cheese (things we consider important to us, like a raise, more money, family, fame, etc).  This shows us the different reactions to change (represented by moved cheese).
The story, which is presented in the form of a parable, is so obvious about the way we should approach change in our lives that we have no choice but to be inspired to do so! 
Keeping in mind that Cheese equals Change, some of the points stressed in the book are:
-  Get Ready for the Cheese to Move (anticipate change)
-  Smell the Cheese often so you know when it is getting old(monitor change)
-  Move with the Cheese (change!)
And the book takes less than an hour from cover to cover.
20
Jan

My POV - Transcending Race

Michael Scofield, responding to skepticism surrounding his alliance with C-Note, who is an African American:

"Our friendship transcends race."

Lincoln Burrows:

"NOTHING transcends race."

                                                             Prison Break, season one

Mankind may be able to walk upright, make fire, and solve math problems,  but we are also the only ones on this planet that are capable of both inexplicable love and inexplicable hatred.

We can sometimes love someone "just ‘cuz", but we can also hate someone "just ‘cuz."  The problem with the latter is it isn’t justifiable.

How can all justifications for hatred center upon the fact that the object of that hatred wears a different skin color, speaks a different language, and lives a different culture?

I think people are a like a body of water.  From far away, water takes on a certain hue, like blue or green or greenish-blue, or even muddy brown.  But once you get closer and cup some of that water in your hands, you’ll find that it doesn’t have any color at all; it’s just like any other body of water around.

Likewise, from far away, all you see are the superficial traits of a race, like skin color, or cultural bad habits.  But once you get closer to a person from that racial background, you’ll find that there is no difference in either color or culture.

The only thing worse than an oppressive dictatorship, or oppressive absolute monarchy, is racism.

So if mankind can walk upright, make fire, and solve math problems, it can also build a world of relationships that transcend race.